Dantrums

When I was in high school, a stoner kid and I ----I wasn’t yet one---- were talking about which drug was better, alcohol or weed. We agreed it was weed. He said, what’s great about weed is smoking it and then going snowboarding. I said, what’s great about weed is that you never get sick from it. Oh no, he said, I’ve gotten cases of the munchies so bad that I just kept eating until I puked. At first I thought he was joking. How the fuck can you allow yourself to do that (more than once anyway)? It sounded ridiculous to me at the time, but now that I’m turning into something of a pot addict, I understand it completely. Because if you smoke great weed a few times in one day, the appetite eventually cannot be appeased, and in his stupor the stoner will keep eating. His brain is fried. This is all he can do now. I have once vomited, but in all fairness to me, I was at an upscale restaurant and the steaks there were just too good to waste. Mostly, I give myself stomach aches and, on rare occasions, diarrhea, and every next morning when I awake unwell I cannot believe how stupid I was, how this will never happen again, I’m only going to smoke once today anyway….even with addictions to low-grade drugs like weed, apparently, every morning comes with New Year’s-like resolutions. Oh, I promise I’m going to turn over a new leaf--- and not the smokeable kind! I’m going to just finish this bag and then I’ll take a break, a two-week break at least. I’m just going to finish this bag. Really. I am. Fuck you shut up.