Dantrums

I saw a boy the other night who made me glad to like boys in the first place: The kind of boy you see and want for your very own ; a boy with a chiseled face, arms of mature oak, and the smile of a boy angel. As soon as I saw him from across the room, a tall and barrel chested boy , with his big arms spread on the bar, my boy alarm went off. My nose went up. A hot boy? Here? I walked over to talk to someone I knew next to him to see if it was true. Good lord. Yes. What arms! What a chest! That angel smile! Dimples eveywhere on his cheeks, little canyons, and eyes like almonds, lips no doubt of honey. I had the privilege of seeing him bend over repeatedly and he more than any other boy before him made me realize how much I love it when men's underwear shows just above the pants--- not too much, just the label. Just the label is just perfect. I don't want to see too much of it. I want to leave it all up to my imagination, perferring a slight sexual suggestion to anything blatant. I don't get turned on by seeing a guy's crack, or by seeing a guy's boxers up by his bellybutton. This boy's underwear was American Eagle, which is kind of what he looks like. His face is so sharp, in focus, defined. In high school, he told me later, he dove and ran track, and his body is lithe, but he also could've played football. Anways, eagle or not, he's certainly a stallion.

I think he likes boys, but am not sure yet. Nor am I sure where all the other boys like him are hiding.

The writer Christopher Isherwood asked himself, "Why do I like boys? Because of their shape and their voices and their smell and the way they move. And boys can be romantic. I can put them into myth and fall in love with them."

This was exactly how I felt the other night in the presence of this Adonis. And I didn't mention his smell: A beguiling mix of Man (the product of those big arms) and a softer, sweeter scent--- I would be tempted to call it feminine yet it was undoubtedly a man's. This, I hoped, was the product of his soft, sweet heart. He was a very nice boy on top of it all, and asked me questions about myself. He could tell I was from Newton, he said. I didn't know whether that was a compliment or not but it made me blush.