Dantrums

My dog can do something pretty amazing. When she doesn't want you petting her, she can fart at will, almost like a skunk would use its spray, in order to drive you away, the smell being so awful. Animals farts are pretty gross. Even from cute animals. And my dog is cute. Fuck You CC. She is too. Anyway it's pretty foul. But on the other hand now that I think about it's really only been a few times that she's done that, but still...tonight I think she did it on purpose. She had this smug look on her face that said, 'I just farted on you, dickwad.'

Tonight at the restaurant the chef told me a story he'd seen on the news, about these guys in their 30's, all pretty close friends, who would go on vacation together, just the boys, away from their wives and families. And they did perform some light fishing; but most of the time was actually spent buggering each other senseless. The Chef added that news report mentioned this wasn't an "isolated incident." Now, I liked this story for a few reasons, not the least of which being I could shout, "It's because women don't know how to give head!" I say this every opportunity I get. I know a few of my girlfriends will argue with me on this subject but I'm sorry. YOU ARE WRONG. Guys have better tongue muscles or something. If you don't believe me ask a bisexual. They'll tell you the same thing. I like this story because it's hot and brings me back to summer camp. I like this story because I love the idea of men, boys everyone probably thought were straight, so in to going down on each other and fucking each other in the ass that they just had to have it, had to touch each other cock's for a whole week straight because the flings while the wife is out are just too short. I like the needing of the dick for a whole week straight. I get that! I can relate to these men. I like this story because the news termed the steamy goings-on between the boys nextdoor a "gaycation." I mean, that's great. I was disappointed, though, when I googled the term. Nothing came up on the search that had any steamy goings-on. Instead it was ads for gay cruises and gay hotels that had "gaycation packages." Ha. Packages. Anyway, I hope it's not all hype. Then I thought about what a gaycation would be like if I went with my friends. Not to hook up, but to wear thongs and sip pina coladas down by the pool deck. I imagine all my friends in thongs. I think of which one would look the best. Hmmmm...ok I got it. All of them.