Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Randoms #1
1) I was watching a panel discussion with Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, and other comedians on HBO last night. Jerry was trying to explain to host Anderson Cooper how standup is different from writing sitcoms. He was talking about how much more challenging, how much scarier it is, the charge one gets from engaging with a live audience. Adorable Anderson wasn't quite getting it. Chris Rock broke in: "It's like the difference between coffee and cocaine!"
2) Peyton Manning flew in from Indy for the Red Sox home opener yesterday. I would expect this news to slightly impress normal people---- i.e., Peyton's a good guy who has appreciation for sports and even comes to support a neighbor of his nemesis. Of course you abnormal Pat lovers will somehow turn this around and find a way to dislike him even more, so let's skip to that and begin posting nasty comments. Just remember when you insult Manning you are insulting Brady, since they are obviously secret lovers. All these fake pregnancy reports (nice balloon, Bridget) and photos of Tom and Giselle are clearly a smokescreen. Tom and Peyton touch each other's boners.
3) Hitler was a vegetarian! Did anyone else know this?! I find this incredible. Apparently there was even an organic vegetable garden at Dachau. I'm going to use this fact whenever a vegetarian explains to me how moral their choice is. Sure, you don't eat animals, but how many gay jewish gypsies did you slaughter this week?
4) There is a great picture of Larry Birkhead--- who looks like an odd cross between David Bowie and Lance Bass---- coming out of a courtroom yesterday after it was announced that he is in fact the father of Anna Nicole's daughter. His hands are raised above his head, one giving the thumbs up, and he's sporting a huge grin. "I told you so!" he cried to reporters. He looks beyond happy---- like he won the Super Bowl and lottery all in one. In fact, that is exactly what he just did. It's not the face of a father who is overjoyed at bringing his daughter home. It's the face of a man who just found out he will never have to work another day in his life.
2) Peyton Manning flew in from Indy for the Red Sox home opener yesterday. I would expect this news to slightly impress normal people---- i.e., Peyton's a good guy who has appreciation for sports and even comes to support a neighbor of his nemesis. Of course you abnormal Pat lovers will somehow turn this around and find a way to dislike him even more, so let's skip to that and begin posting nasty comments. Just remember when you insult Manning you are insulting Brady, since they are obviously secret lovers. All these fake pregnancy reports (nice balloon, Bridget) and photos of Tom and Giselle are clearly a smokescreen. Tom and Peyton touch each other's boners.
3) Hitler was a vegetarian! Did anyone else know this?! I find this incredible. Apparently there was even an organic vegetable garden at Dachau. I'm going to use this fact whenever a vegetarian explains to me how moral their choice is. Sure, you don't eat animals, but how many gay jewish gypsies did you slaughter this week?
4) There is a great picture of Larry Birkhead--- who looks like an odd cross between David Bowie and Lance Bass---- coming out of a courtroom yesterday after it was announced that he is in fact the father of Anna Nicole's daughter. His hands are raised above his head, one giving the thumbs up, and he's sporting a huge grin. "I told you so!" he cried to reporters. He looks beyond happy---- like he won the Super Bowl and lottery all in one. In fact, that is exactly what he just did. It's not the face of a father who is overjoyed at bringing his daughter home. It's the face of a man who just found out he will never have to work another day in his life.
# posted by Dan @ 8:16 AM 
