Dantrums

I don't know about you but I thought the new "American Gladiators" was a disappointment, mostly because the gladiators were just not that cool. Glistening blond Titan looks like his whole body has been polished with teeth whitener. The glare coming off his body is insane.  Staring at him would probably lead to blindness.  Then there is Wolf.  You would expect a gladiator named Wolf to do some howling, but must he do it every single time he is introduced? He's beyond annoying, as is Toa, who I guess is supposed to be the Native American gladiator because he wears some warpaint and a red feather around his bicep and whoops.  Is the whooping as annoying as the howling? It's a close call, but when you add the fact that Toa also whoops in some sort of fake Indian language, he wins the most annoying prize easily.  Then there is Justice, and what kind of a name is that?  Is this a courtroom smackdown? These four combined are not half as cool as Nitro was.  I wasn't really paying attention to the women, but one is named Helga. This is not a cool name.  The show doesn't use Hulk Hogan cleverly enough either. There should be countless shots of his 24 inch pythons and references to his amazing 30 minute fight against the Ultimate Warrior in Wrestlemania VIII.  Instead he just gives interviews with questions that begin 'How did it feel to ____.' Boring!  As in nearly every reality show, the interviews sound painfully scripted and the contestants make constant references to how they are doing this for their kids. I don't know about you, but whenever someone claims they are doing something for their kids, I automatically root against them. I don't care about your kids dude. I don't care if you are a fucking New York firefighter. Whenever a reason is given to root for someone or something, it's usually cheesy bullshit.  That thing must now be hated.  Perfection and nobility are not attributes to admire in sports teams or athletes, and this, my friends, is why it will be far more interesting to see the Pats go down than it will to see them standing on pedestals as paragons of excellence.